Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
