So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
