Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
