She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
