He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
