I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
