Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
