There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
