Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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