Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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