i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I think im going to throw up on grandma
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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