Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
