were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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