I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
