somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
