margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I didn't shave. On purpose
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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