Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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