trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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