Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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