sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
