oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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