Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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