OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
