the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
