Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
