He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
