PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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