So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
