Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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