yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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