just come out here and I will go home with you...
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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