Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
