so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
