did you get engaged???
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
