I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Randomize
