can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Randomize
