Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
