So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
