I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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