Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
