wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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