Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
