i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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