hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
