why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
