Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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