what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
