I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
