Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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