Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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