I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
