i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
