your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
i need some magic done to my vagina
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
