I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
