Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize