You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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