She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
