just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
