You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
