my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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